How To Make Decisions - Faster!

Decision making is not just an action, but a necessary action.  How many times have you found yourself in a moment where the responsibility was placed on you to say yes or no?  But, because you didn’t want to make a bad, or wrong, decision, you hesitated on giving a response.  This worry of choosing a wrong answer is amplified when the answer requires a definite action, as opposed to just a yes or no response. 

 

For example, deciding on whether or not you want takeout for dinner, is completely different than deciding on whether or not you want to buy a house, which college to go to, which career move you will take, or even yes or no to some other goal you are thinking about.  The problem lies in not how important the decision is, or how big we think it is, but in our ability to actually make a decision; and to not take an eternity in reaching one.

 

But now, let’s say you actually make a decision on one of the things mentioned above.  Have you ever found yourself second guessing that decision?  You may have even reached the point where you actually changed your mind completely, and decided on whatever the alternate option was.  If no one told you then, I will tell you now:  Making a decision, and then going back on that decision, deteriorates your credibility.  I am not even talking about your credibility with other people, but with yourself.  The more times you go back on your own decisions, because you regret making a previous decision, the more that habit will embed itself in you.  This will create an enormous amount of doubt in your self, which will concrete the path of indecision even further.

 

Does this mean, we are expected to make “perfect” decisions every time?  Or even, expected not to feel the effects of what very well could have been an actual bad decision?  Of course not!  If you remember nothing from this post, at least remember this:  Life is one big string of decisions.  There is no negative or positive in that statement.  It just is.  And what that statement actually means is that every thing in our life is the result of a previous decision.  One decision leads to an action, which leads to another set of decisions to be made, which in turn leads to other actions, and so forth.

 

From this perspective, we can see that regardless of whether or not we make a “right”, or “wrong”, decision, after that action is taken, a new set of decisions will need to be made.  For instance, imagine you are trying to decide whether or not you want to go with Company Full of Promises.  Let’s suppose you say yes, and decide to work for them.  Now, being hired by them, let’s say it ends up being what you hoped for, and you are happy with your decision.  This is a great outcome in your mind, as this is what you were looking towards.

 

Now, suppose you get hired by Company Full of Promises, but they end up being nothing you were hoping for.  You practically feel lied to.  Now, this is your place of employment, and you regret your decision.  But, before you beat yourself up, and wallow in a load of self pity for “making the worst decision”, try an alternative way of looking at it (because the feeling sad for ourselves part does nothing productive).  Instead, realize that you made a decision, and acted on it.  Don’t focus on whether it was bad or good.  Focus on the new decisions that need to be made due to your being unhappy with the outcome of choosing to work where you are.  Do you stay, and give it a bit to see if anything changes?  Do you immediately start looking for new work, while being employed there?  Do you get to know other people who currently work there, and find out about the work place culture, because maybe they just do things differently than what you are used to? 

 

You see, they are just decisions that need to be made one after another.  So many different paths, and options, and possibilities – yes, it’s true it can seem overwhelming when you dwell on all that.  But, something that helps immensely is if you know what you want.  THIS is the actual key to decision making, in respects to what you would internally consider a “good” decision for yourself.  When it is a decision made off of what you want to do, if it harmonizes with who you are internally, it becomes ridiculously easy.

 
 

Someone told me a short story once, of a business owner who somehow always seemed to make good decisions, or the “right” decisions.  When asked by an intrigued person, on how it was possible for an imperfect man to not only make all the right business decisions over the years,  but also to make them quickly, the business owner explained that he always left it to the coin in his pocket.  But, it may not be due to the manner in which you think.

 

The business owner never actually left it to the chance of the flip of a coin.  The business owner always made the right decision for himself – actually from his gut.  Off of his intuition.  Every time this savvy gentleman felt a slight hesitation between “this”, or “that”, he would take out his coin, designate heads to one option, and tails to the other option, and throw it up in the air.  The minute that coin was in the air, the man’s subconscious was already rooting for one of the sides to land.  The very instant he felt that, he knew which choice to make.  Once the coin landed, he never even bothered to look at it.  He just shoved it back in his pocket.  Knowing what harmonizes with you, knowing what you truly want, makes your subconscious kick out the decision you should take.

 

So is there a way to use this process in case you actually DO NOT know what you truly want for yourself just yet?  Yes, and again, you can use the coin.  Designate an option for each side of the coin, and if you truly cannot feel a gut reaction on which option you actually want while the coin is in the air, then let it land, spin, and stop.  No hesitation – just go with what landed.  

 

You see, even with our business owner in the story above, there were times when he felt his gut tell him what he really wanted to go with, and then he chose it, but then that decision ended up going completely opposite of how he thought it would turn out.  What did he do then?  Blame the coin?  Beat himself up internally?  Not at all.  He realized that new decisions needed to be made.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Life is one big string of decisions.


Let it be absolutely clear though, that allowing the total falling, and stopping, of a coin to make a decision for you, is a last resort.  Your best route always, is to concretely know who you really are, or are in the process of becoming, thereby allowing the real you to make decisions that lead to your personal happiness.  The objective, is to not allow any excuse as to why a decision was not even made.

 

Of course, life is so much more than the way we are referring to it here.  It is extremely colorful, enjoyable, full of potential, and an amazing thing.  But, when you come down to its bare basic, as it relates to how we move our own lives along, it really is several decisions being made, one after another.  The better you get at decision making, the more enjoyable your life will be.  It develops confidence, character, and frees up so much time that you would have previously spent on worrying, or hesitating, about the correctness of your choices. 

No Excuses

 

 

No Excuses.  Wisdom sometimes comes in the brevity of a saying.  The two words in the title of this post are so simple, yet enormously powerful.  Anyone could have come up with that phrase.  And practically everyone I know has said it at one point or another, in reference to a number of things.  From the parent demanding their child’s room be picked up “before dinner, no excuses”,  to the boss of a company stating that they “need bigger returns this year, no excuses!”  Everyone has heard these words.


But too many times, when this phrase is thrown out there, it has been used in such a manner that those declaring it fail to embrace what is actually being said.  Think about this for a second.  No Excuses.  When you actually take this saying in the utmost literal sense, you are basically denying any possible chance for failure on an objective.  You are immediately denying yourself any way out of a “why” this or that, did or didn’t happen.  Let that truly sink in.  Your reason for not completing something does not exist.  It just isn’t there.


Because a potential alibi is no longer lingering as a possibility, what does this actually mean?  It means that whereas before you had two options for the outcome of a goal, you now only have one.  Whereas before you either “will” or “will not” achieve success, you now just “will”.  There is no “will not” in the equation anymore.  Yes, it really looks and is that simple, as you just read, and you know this already, so why do so many people fail at seeing things through?


Whether you set out to lose/gain weight, to get a different job, to go back to school, to go up to that person and say hello – whatever it may be, why are you not able to do it yet?  It could be that you get invited to all these functions (birthday parties, dates, family gatherings, job related outings, etc), and it would be very impolite not to partake in the festivities, right?  I mean, you actually want to lose weight, but all these things aren’t letting you.  But now, if you throw in the true meaning of “No Excuses”, what happens?  All your reasons as to why it is impossible for you to lose weight are no longer valid.  They aren’t valid, because they don’t exist.  They don’t exist, because YOU don’t allow them to exist as excuses.

The person who still doesn’t get what I am trying to convey here says, “Great, so basically I can’t ever go out and do this or that!”  We are terminating excuses, or reasons we allow to get in our way, yet here goes the individual once again forming a new set of alibis.  It is a nasty human habit we have, to justify our short comings.  It is basically whining, and the person who whines is truly only looking for sympathy.  That sympathy makes them feel ok for the excuses we just delivered.


But, if you truly, truly, follow the “No Excuses” mantra, there is no whining.  There is no searching out for sympathy on excuses. There are no excuses – no reasons to give the air as to why we did not complete our goal.  So what is left?  Commitment.  Determination.  Resolve.  When there are no excuses, there is only accomplishing.  You WILL lose weight.  You WILL get a different job.  Because there are “No Excuses”,  your only absolute option is to succeed.  Whether it takes one month, one year, or five – your only option is to accomplish whatever goal you have set for yourself, the minute you commit to “No Excuses”.  When you do this, you are making yourself 110% responsible for the outcome of your steps, and actions, as it pertains to the attainment of your goal. You alone are responsible for your success.  Once you hold yourself completely accountable with no excuses, you realize that you HAVE to succeed.


To get the point across even further, let's say that you are naturally shy.  Let's even say that you are mortified of talking to strangers.  Let's also throw into the mix that there is a particular stranger, that you actually have noticed for quite some time - say in school, at work, wherever.  Your desire, when you see this person, is to go up to them and say hello.  Unless you have been extremely shy at some point in your life, this may seem like one of the easiest tasks in the world.  But, for someone who is naturally very shy, or even who lacks any type of confidence whatsoever, this is the most nerve wrecking thing.  So how would this person employ the "No Excuses" mantra in this scenario? In its most simple breakdown, this scenario has two options for the taking:

1. Go up to the person and say hello, or
2. Use the shyness, fear, panic attack (whatever you call this inner hold back) as an excuse to run away.

But, what happens when you take away your excuse?  What happens when you take away the option that is being used as an excuse? What occurs when you have just reduced a decision making process, to an inner command?

1. Go up to the person and say hello

Imagine if you are driving down a path that you are unsure of, and you come to a fork in the road. You can either go left, or go right. Without a map, or GPS, you don't know what the outcome of either choice is going to be. You have to make a decision. Now, imagine that you are driving down the same path as before, but this time, there is no fork in the road. To the left is a dead stop, and your only option is to go right. You HAVE to go right, in order to keep moving forward. That is essentially what is being done when you annihilate excuses as options.


Maybe it is decision making that is the real dilemma for someone.  If that is the case with you, the next post to follow this one will address that.  For now though, strip away all the alternatives you are currently using as your excuse to not move towards what you want.  Leave yourself with the command to simply do it.  Simply start going after it.  No excuses.